your parents love me but you hate me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
