so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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