Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
