: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
