i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
