while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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