We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
