i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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