Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
