walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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