do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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