Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize