I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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