Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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