Kiss
Puke
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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