As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
