Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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