is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Randomize