You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize