are you still at the devil's house?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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