i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
