pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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