I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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