No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize