Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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