you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
