Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
