I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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