I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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