On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
