dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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