It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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