New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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