Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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