You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
