Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
