do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
