Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I party with great urgency now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
