Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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