I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
