i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize