similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
