People in love make me want to vomit
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize