BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
