He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
