Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
