Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
