i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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