i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
