You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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