Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
