What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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