I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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