Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
