I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
