Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
