Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
