he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
