Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
