I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
