so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
