I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
