So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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