This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
