I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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