i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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