Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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