im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Come share oat with me in your robe
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
