whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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