sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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