just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
