He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
