I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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