lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
