my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
