I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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