To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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